How To Paddle Whitewater, According to Stock Art


You can learn a lot from watching better kayakers. If you don’t have anyone better to paddle with, consider watching kayaking videos online. Even better is to look at stock art. The models in stock art are always the best in their field, modelling.

Let's start with getting to the river. To avoid having to tie your boats down use children as weights to hold them on. Let’s start with getting to the river. To avoid having to tie your boats down, use children as weights to hold them on.

Equipment is important. You might not need a PFD, or helmet or dry suit. But you should take some kind of suit.

Equipment is important. You might not need a PFD, or helmet, or dry suit. But you should take some kind of suit.

Instead of carrying your boat to the river, forests make convenient lanching ramps.

Instead of carrying your boat to the river, forests make convenient launching ramps.

If you think you are going to flip over then a very high brace should help.

If you think you are going to flip over, then a very high brace should help.

The helmet shaft behind the head is an excellent brace position as well.

The helmet shaft behind the head is an excellent brace position as well.

Paddling waterfalls is fun and easy. just make sure you hold the paddle above your head, so you can land in a super high paddle behind the head braces as above.

Paddling waterfalls is fun and easy. Just make sure you hold the paddle above your head, so you can land in a super high paddle-behind-the-head brace as above.

Don't try to "Boof" or pencil, its just for show. Any boat angle will do.(In all seriousness I have a poster of this guy on my wall :P)

Don’t try to “boof” or pencil, it’s just for show. Any boat angle will do.

Agers_George

Here’s one more shot so you can make sure to get that waterfall running technique down pat.  Make sure you close your eyes on the way down too.

Always yell the line back up the waterfall, don't use hand signals, they are too confusing.

Always yell the line back up the waterfall. Don’t use hand signals, they’re too confusing.

Advanced Paddling: Racing. Serious kayakers usually race against a bikini girl who just jumps off of stuff while they kayak. She usually looks better doing it. And wins.

Advanced Paddling: Racing. Serious kayakers usually race against a bikini girl, who just jumps off of stuff while they kayak. She usually looks better doing it. And wins.

10 comments

  1. ha…i live in prime white water country (nor cal near Lotus, Coloma, s. lake tahoe blah blah) so this is much appreciated…!

  2. Iain McKendry

    excellent ;-)

  3. Surely you are joking, right? 2nd picture with the chaps hand underwater. 4th picture with a very high brace hyperextending his shoulder. The kayakers dropping off waterfalls doing ‘air bracing’. All BAD examples. Most people don’t get their photos as ‘stock photos’ because they don’t allow logos of manufacturers to be seen. The stock photos are terrible in my opinion.

  4. Dude – that is me in pictures 6 and 7. Can’t I get break for the old boat? That was shot in 1989 when you were just an itch in your pappy’s pants probably. Funny story: That waterfall has a huge pool below it. On that day there were drunks in inner tubes floating around near the landing.

    • You get more than forgiveness, you get my kudos for all the awesome boating and fun times you guys had in such simple boats! Whole article is in jest, and I hope I haven’t offended you, I just find it amusing how out of date stock art tends to be these days and how much technique has changed in 20 years.

  5. I have a pic of myself doing my first ever serious-ish water. It looks a lot like the 3rd last pic with the yellow kayak!
    Next time I will remember to get a kid to weigh down my loaded yak. Your advice is saving me hours on my next trip.
    Well done dude, I LOVE your advice! :D

  6. That first photo is of the Jackson family. The kids–I mean weights!–are now aged 20 and 23 respectively and have gone on to become pro kayakers. The entire family is very cool, and they make some great boats!

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